5000 hours in Bali

“You’re doing what?…”

There’s not a huge amount of advice around for when you quit your job without a plan. Most people think you’re mad, some brave and I daresay there’s a few who are a tad jealous. I’m lucky to have amazing support from my nearest and dearest, and whilst I’m sure they have a few concerns they’d rather I take a risk than spend the rest of my days slowly turning into a zombie.

I don’t feel scared at all. Just bloody stuck.

The web is packed with tips and advice on achieving success. The hugely successful company CEO’s who swear by doing something you love, and the benefit of morning rituals. There are psychic healers who promise you can reveal hidden powers with chants and magic wands. Don’t get me wrong there’s a lot of great insight, and I’m currently reading three different self-help books. But none seem to speak to me exactly. It’s been over a month now and I’m still at square one.

What is it that I love?

That’s problem number one.

Apart from my wonderful family and friends, I just don’t know anymore.

It’s not been a priority for so long.

I do know

I’m incredibly stubborn.

I think I know what’s best.

I like being in charge.

I have very high expectations, about most things.

I also have an irrational fear of dying from a ‘grisly death’ which stops me trying lots of things. And whilst to date I’ve succeeded rather well in most things I’ve set my mind to (that where the stubbornness prove useful), I still worry that I just can’t do this.

So, for now, I’m not going to think about a perfect business or new career and the exact method it’s going to take to get there. I’m just going to focus on me. Rediscover what I love about life.

Wish me luck.

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